01. "Get away from her, you bitch."
02. "Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town."
03. "They're all gonna laugh at you."
04. "Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit. 'Cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone."
05. "Is that blood on your zombie?"
06. "Be afraid... Be very afraid."
07. "It's Alive! It's Alive!"
08. "Do they look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They were vampires! Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!"
09. "We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft's okay! He's a sailor, he's in New York; we get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!"
10. "It's Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good scare."
11. "No tears please, it's a waste of good suffering."
12. "You're going to need a bigger boat."
13. "I'm your number one fan."
14. "They're coming to get you, Barbara!"
15. "I'm your boyfriend now, Nancy!"
16. "Sometimes dead is better."
17. "They're here!"
18. "We all go a little mad sometimes."
19. "You'll never get credit for my research. Who's going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow."
20. "I wanna play a game."